Grandparents heap 'stuff' onto the grandkids
Dear Amy: My husband's mom and stepdad are very generous with our two children.
They often take the kids overnight and always return them with new toys and clothes -- too much, in our opinion.
Our children have many toys that they just don't use. My mother-in-law has also told us that they have financial concerns.
We have tried asking for them to spend time instead of money on the kids, but they insist the gifts are always on sale or are inexpensive second-hand items, and that it makes them happy to give the kids "stuff."
When we try to talk about this, his mom tends to make passive-aggressive statements in response.
We would love our children to be excited to see Grandma and Grandpa, not just excited to see what new toys are waiting for them.
We argued about this, and over a month later, his mom was still so upset that she didn't call my husband on his birthday.
I'm concerned that these fights will lead to resentments and will damage our relationships. What can we do?
-- Upset
Dear Upset: Your reaction to this overindulgence is reasonable, and it sounds as if you have done your best to communicate your values respectfully to your children's grandparents.
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