Life Advice


Health & Spirit

Woman in love, loves being alone

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I'm 52 years old, divorced for 10 years with young-adult children in their early 20s. For the first time in over 30 years I live completely alone. And I love it!

My boyfriend of three years is 59, twice-divorced, with two adult kids. He has lived alone since his last divorce, five years ago.

We live about 45 minutes from each other, and we see each other at least once every weekend and for dinner one night during the week.

I work full time, and also have other social engagements during the week. He is semi-retired and works part time.

I truly love him, but I cherish my time alone.

He constantly says he misses me when we are apart, but I can't reciprocate. I don't want to lie and say I miss him too, but I don't want to hurt his feelings, either.


Last winter he went on a trip with friends for two weeks, and I did miss him then. But I don't miss him every day because I'm busy at work and with my own life.

Can you love someone but still only need to be with them once a week? When I was 20, I'd want to be with my partner 24/7. At 52 I don't. Is that just because I'm more comfortable with myself (I am) now than I was then? Or if it's "true love," should I want to be with him all the time?

Is there a nice way to say, "I don't miss you but I still love you"?

I welcome your thoughts, as well as those of your readers.


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