Life Advice



Sister dynamic could be about birth order

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My family tries to be close, but when it comes to me (the youngest) and my oldest sister (eight years older) -- we just don't click.

Despite being born to the same people and raised in the same household, we have very different views, opinions and beliefs about nearly everything.

I don't recall having a good relationship as children; she was always yelling or angry at me.

I was always closer to our brother (middle child), who played with me and let me tag along with him and his friends.

My sister never seemed interested in being close, though we did have our moments of getting along.

As adults, this feels unchanged and strained; she's made it clear she doesn't approve of my career, schooling, spiritual beliefs, and she was openly skeptical about my marriage (until the ceremony), because my husband is older than I.


She always talks down to me, and once stated out loud that she can't respect me as an adult. That hurt more than she'll ever know.

She seems to believe that I don't want to be her sister, when in reality I just don't want to be around someone who makes me walk on eggshells. My parents wish we'd get along, but I can't force myself to pretend anymore.

I will be civil, but I don't feel we can be regular friends.

Is this awful of me? Should I keep trying? I just don't see the point.


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