Dad's drinking leads to daughter's escape
Dear Second Place Child: You are not a second-place child, and so stop reacting like one. You are an adult with no need of your mother's cast-off car. Nor do you need her money.
I well understand the life-long dynamic that exists between siblings, but if you make a conscious choice to rise above your childlike reaction to this, you will feel good. You'll feel large. You'll feel like a grown-up.
Life is not fair. But life does have a way of evening out the smaller inequities and bumps. You'll get your reward, but it might not be at the same moment as your brother.
Dear Amy: "Struggling" was wondering if she should attend a family wedding, knowing that her racist cousin would be there.
I could not believe that you advised her to "show up and shut up." No one should have to spend time with a bully.
-- Offended
Dear Offended: "Show up and shut up" was the phrase suggested by "Struggling." And yes, at a wedding I believe that all parties should show up and shut up.
One way to react to a family bully is to not let the bully control your movements.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)