Dad's drinking leads to daughter's escape
Yes, your daughter should contact you, but if she is too afraid to do so while she is in the house, she should do so after she has left.
Look at the language you have used to describe your daughter's emotions while with her father: "Scared, afraid, petrified." I'm concerned about a therapist who would place the responsibility for navigating this challenge onto the child's shoulders.
Of course your daughter wants to see her father. But she wants to see him sober, and in a safe and stable household. I don't believe the burden should be placed on her to communicate with her father about how terrifying he is.
Yes, your daughter should attend Alateen meetings (Al-anon.org). Connecting with other teens who love alcohol-addicted parents would be extremely helpful. And you should talk to her about the possibility of going back to court to revisit the visitation arrangement. Court-mandated sobriety (if possible) while he has visitation might be a wake-up call for him.
Dear Amy: My mother is in her 70s, and my older brother and I are in our 50s. She now finds herself unable to drive, and has surrendered her driver's license and vehicle. She has given the car to my brother, and has paid for the necessary repairs.
My brother and I are in similar, comfortable financial situations. He could definitely use the vehicle more than I. I feel that this was the right decision.
My mother has always treated both of us totally equally. She has not always been generous, but she has always been fair between the both of us.
Am I wrong to feel hurt that a financial gesture was not offered to me? Money is not an issue for her.
I'm an adult and I know that life isn't always fair, but I have to admit to feeling hurt. I am also far more involved in helping my mother. Am I being selfish?
-- Second-Place Child
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