Mother in recovery struggles with amends
Dear Amy: I am struggling with heartbreak from three years ago.
Last night, I dreamed about her, where she professed her love for me again. I woke up feeling worse than ever.
Long story short, her parents broke us up because they did not approve of a same-sex relationship (neither did my parents).
I put it all on the line fighting for our love, but she didn't, after her parents broke her phone, threatened to send her to a psych ward, and left her locked up in her house.
I waited for over a year. Then I realized that she had regained access to Facebook and had a new phone, and yet no message to me!
I never got closure, and I was left with a broken heart and long-lasting emotional hurt. I really want to know how someone can do this after saying they love you and want to marry you.
I've thought so many times of messaging her, but I don't know what to do.
-- Emotionally Destroyed
Dear Destroyed: Please do message her. You may not hear what you want to hear, but knowing where she stands should help to provide the closure you seek.
You both had the odds stacked against you, and I agree that this is heartbreaking.
Dear Amy: "Upset" was a mother upset that she was asked to share the expense for a restaurant meal with her family. I was so surprised at your response. Most waitstaff will not do a separate check for a big party.
Usually it is the parents who pick up the tab (and not the kids), if they can afford it. If she is needy, she should talk to her son. Otherwise, she should pay for them!
-- Surprised
Dear Surprised: You and I live in different worlds. In my world, working adults take care of their parents, including picking up the tab for their widowed mother's modest slice of pizza when they go out.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
