Life Advice



The family trip turns into a cat roundup

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

The problem is that her family seems intent on planning more vacations together, including one in six months!

We don't want to be rude or hurtful to her family members, nor do we intend to lie about our reasons for opting out of future family travel.

How do we (two independent, excited travelers) vacation with an anxious, enmeshed family?

-- Travel Bugged

Dear Bugged: After outlining the many (valid) reasons why you don't want to travel with this group, you then ask how to travel with this group. Are you sure you want to? You are both adults. You have free will. Until you learn to deliver a respectful, "We're going to travel on our own this year," you will be thoroughly dominated.

But if you really do want to travel with them, you should develop an itinerary for yourselves each day and invite them to join you, or not.


For instance: "Monday Marla and I will visit the Indigenous Museum. We'll leave at 10 a.m. Anyone who wants to join us, please do. Otherwise, we'll have lunch nearby and you can join us then."

A family member's worry about your safety should not dictate your own choices. You are an adult, and so is your mother. After reassurances from you, she will have to handle her own emotions.

Dear Amy: I have yet another question to add to your list of: "Why would you ask that?"

I am a teacher. I just turned 65. The annoying question I get is: "Are you still working?"


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