Life Advice



Wronged wife doesn't want to beg ex for contact

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My husband and I separated a while back because he had an affair and left me for another woman. He hasn't seen or spoken to our sons in over a month.

What should I do? Must I contact him and beg him to speak to his kids?

I don't want to do that. It shouldn't have to be up to me to reach out.

I feel that if he cared he would contact his children.

I don't understand how a father could be that way to his own kids. What advice do you have for me?

-- Saddened


Dear Saddened: I have been through this, both as a child with a father who left, and then again as a parent, with a spouse who left.

I watched my own mother behave with dignity, maturity and good humor -- never bad-mouthing, and always supporting and supportive of her children. In my own adulthood, I tried to do the same. It's hard.

I'll pass along my advice from the trenches: Get great, compassionate, and family-centered legal advice. And always put your children first, even if that means surrendering a little of your own well-earned and righteous anger.

I can well imagine how disgusted you feel about your husband's behavior. He cheated on you (and the kids), and then he dumped the lot of you.


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