Older husband is eager to father a child
Having a child might be unlikely -- or unreasonable -- but you should still discuss it. Does he feel cheated? Does he resent you for something you didn't ask for and cannot control (your long-ago hysterectomy)? And do you resent him for periodically reminding you of it?
A marriage counselor could help to guide you through this challenging conversation, giving you the tools to discuss this topic without retreating into well-worn positions.
I recommend the book, "Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most," (2010, Penguin Books). The authors of this helpful book are all members of the Harvard Negotiation Project, bringing their negotiating and communication skills into the personal arena.
Dear Amy: I am a mental health professional.
People in my social circle are aware of what I do for a living.
Too often when I'm at a social gathering, someone pulls me aside to talk about a personal issue. That person is hijacking my social time to obtain counseling.
I'm sure this happens with other professions, but whereas a lawyer or doctor can say, "Why don't you come see me at the office," mental health practitioners are not allowed to have dual relationships (our friends or acquaintances cannot be also our clients).
What's a polite and clear way to set a boundary and explain that this is my social time, and I don't want to be burdened with someone's issue?
-- Burdened Counselor
Dear Burdened: Presumably, you entered this profession (at least in part) to help people. Remember that as you wrestle with this. You are burdened in this way because people trust you.
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