ArcaMax

He doesn't seem overly physically affectionate -- and sometimes he seems downright aversive -- to my sister-in-law, while I've seen him be quite physically affectionate to old male friends.

I like and respect him as a person, and he genuinely seems to mostly treat my sister-in-law well.

I've talked with my wife about this, and both of us are utterly unsure if we should do anything, and if so, what we might do.

Any thoughts on how best to proceed?

-- Utterly Unsure

Dear Unsure: Congratulations! You are about to have a new in-law. And congratulations! You don't need to have an opinion -- or do anything at all -- regarding his sexuality.

He might be straight, but acculturated to maintaining a physical distance from women. He might be gay and closeted for cultural (or other) reasons.

Your sister-in-law might be straight or gay, and marrying for love or for cultural or financial reasons.

The beauty is that unless your in-laws solicit your opinion on their marriage, you can -- and should -- accept this couple at face value.

Dear Amy: "Stuck in the Middle" said her best friend gave her adult kids' violin away to Stuck's son. Now the adult kids are pressuring her to get it back.

Thank you for telling people that parents are not responsible for keeping their kids' stuff forever!

-- Grateful

Dear Grateful: Yes, our adult children might prefer that we maintain their rooms as shrines and their possessions as treasured museum pieces, but at some point, if the kids don't claim their stuff, ownership reverts back to the parents.

(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)