Overwhelmed parent wants to mend broken family
Dear Amy: All five of my now-adult children were adopted. The youngest two are bio-sisters and came to us when they were four and five.
These sisters have always struggled, and we were in and out of counseling as they grew up.
They have accused us of abuse (not true).
They both have substance abuse issues, and have exhausted their brothers and sister, too, with their lies and behavior.
Amy, they refuse to even talk to us. My heart breaks for their hurt and I do not know how to help. How can we mend this torn family?
-- Hurting Mom
Dear Hurting: You seem to have given your all to your children. I hope you have something left for yourself.
Ideally, adult children more or less take up where their parents left off and continue to raise themselves as they mature, but aware and sensitive families face a reckoning when they realize -- surprise -- there is no such thing as an ideal family.
According to information published by the National Institutes of Health, "Addictions are moderately to highly heritable. Family, adoption, and twin studies reveal that an individual's risk tends to be proportional to the degree of genetic relationship to an addicted relative."
Your youngest daughters may have entered the world already marked for the struggles with addiction disorders that they are facing now.
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