Tired child feels forced to care for abusive mom
Dear Amy: My mother is a single, 60-year-old woman who does not want to be a responsible person. Her father was verbally abusive. She married my dad and both of them were abusive toward each other, and toward their children. They divorced 14 years ago.
Since then she has become an alcoholic and a smoker. She blames her problems on her parents and my father, and feels like all of her kids should be taking care of her now (my grandmother helped to pay her bills before she died).
She refuses to get mental help because she claims to not need it, due to her degree in psychology 35 years ago.
She'll stop drinking briefly and then resume. She verbally abuses her kids, but still expects us to help her because she gave birth to us.
I want my child to have grandparents around, because I did not have any growing up.
Mom recently inherited money and now she wants to drive around the country camping until she can't anymore, when she will come back and stay with me.
I have not agreed to this, due to her behavior.
Two of my siblings have blocked her from all contact. I block her while she is on her drinking binges because of all the verbal abuse, but I feel like someone should take care of her because that is what kids do for their parents when they age.
At what point do I call it quits for my own mental health, or to shield my child from her?
-- Responsible, or Not?
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