Life Advice



Tired mom wants to skip teen years

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

My experience with girls (five of them) is that they seem to want to describe their own lives and experiences, while pushing back and/or outright rejecting parental response or counsel. You will do a lot of listening. She will seem to do very little.

Your older sons might be of some help to you now. You should urge them to keep in touch with their sister. They can help to translate some of your decisions for her. She might be less mouthy toward you if she feels supported by them.

You should also seek the help, support and counsel of other mothers -- perhaps the moms of daughters in your teen's peer group. Commiseration and a glass of wine have helped many mothers of teens live to fight another day.

And here I will quote my own (wise) mother, who saw her own three daughters through many stages, sometimes with a sigh, saying, "This too shall pass."

Dear Amy: I work in a government job. I am hardworking, detail-oriented, and a perfectionist. I take my job seriously and always try to do my best. My work is solitary and independent. I spend most of my time at my desk, by myself, quietly editing documents, preparing mailings, etc. I am definitely an introvert.

The boss in my workplace wants everyone to get to know one another and to socialize. This involves lunchtime potlucks (off the clock) and get-to-know-you activities at meetings that would make any introvert want to crawl into a hole and never come out.


My question is this: to what extent do we HAVE to participate in these things, if at all? They are NOT a part of my work program, whatsoever. Any advice would be appreciated.

-- Introverted Professional

Dear Introverted: You should disclose your discomfort to your supervisor and very honestly ask if you can be exempted from some of these get-togethers.

Your boss's motives are to provide a more positive professional experience. Social interactions at work can help to create cohesion, and -- for many -- might enhance their experience, communication, and work performance. Other people find these forced social interactions fake, unnecessary, or boring.


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