Hometown visit will come at a cost
I've been exiled from my best friend's house because my aggressor is victim-blaming me. I don't know what to do.
I feel that if I stay home, I'm ruining the others' vacation. But if I go, it's not much of a vacation for me. I'm worried I'll never visit my hometown ever again due to this feud. Should I stay away and wait for them to visit me? How should I handle this?
-- Exiled and Torn
Dear Exiled: It is hard to imagine why you would want to bring your fiancé and sister to stay in the home of the person who assaulted you. You also say that even if he hadn't assaulted you, you wouldn't want to spend time with him, anyway. So why do you want to stay with this couple? Are you so desperate for cheap vacation housing that you would expose yourself, your fiancé and sister to staying with this creep?
You say that you have successfully "pushed this aside," but you haven't. As is often the case with victims, you are still being -- and are certainly feeling -- punished.
Your friend can't have you stay with her because she has decided to stay with her husband. She has chosen him.
I think you would mightily regret it if you let this keep you away from your hometown. Look for alternate housing (with other friends or family), consider tent camping, or spring for an Airbnb in the area.
Dear Amy: My 30th high school reunion is soon. I'm looking forward to seeing my longtime friends.
My best friend in high school and post-college is going to be there. We were quite close, until she got married and moved out of state.
But there's something she's said, and keeps restating, that really bothers me, about how I was "never there," at school.
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