Med student's assault brings on ethical dilemma
-- Auntie M
Dear Auntie: Your generosity has recently been met with a lack of gratitude, and of course this affects how you feel about continuing to extend your generosity.
Your reaction isn't petty; it is somewhat punitive.
My own view is that up until the 18th birthday we aunties basically celebrate our nieces and nephews' existence. For birthdays, holidays and special occasions, we are telling them, "Yay! You exist! I see you and celebrate you."
After they turn 18, they need to find ways to (basically) earn the attention you have up to this point given so freely.
I think you should give equally this year and then, if you and one of the siblings develop a special relationship based on generosity and gratitude, then you should recognize that, moving forward.
Dear Amy: "Frozen" and her husband disagreed about how much comfort to offer their children.
When our daughters were young and had a minor injury, we'd immediately say in a caring and loving voice, "Dust off."
Then we would both swing our arms and brush the "dust" from our pants or legs.
It worked beautifully and let them know that when they hurt, we hurt -- and we get better together.
-- Dan
Dear Dan: This is perfectly sweet. I love it.
========
(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
