Woman wrestles with tempting attraction
She has been expressing some remorse to our mother for her behavior toward me. But I feel much better with no contact.
I have not told our mother the depths of my sister's behavior, but I have told mom that it is between the two of us.
I am not being honest with my mom in order to spare her feelings, but on the other hand my mom might be judging me harshly because I don't want to have a relationship with my sister. How do I wrap my head around this? Should I just tell my mom, and risk hurting her?
-- Unsure
Dear Unsure: Do not use your mother as a go-between. When she attempts to mediate, say to her, "Mom, I understand that this is hard for you, but I want you to be patient and not get involved. Less contact is actually best for me right now, but if my sister wants to reach out to me, she knows how to find me."
Dear Amy: "Upset Mom" was wondering how to help her adult children to get along better. I used to be very frustrated when my mother would absolutely refuse to even discuss (not to mention take sides) our disputes.
Now that she is gone, I see that her instinct was to try to prepare us for life without her.
-- Missing Mom
Dear Missing: Mom knew best.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
