Parents plan to punish for piercings
Is it wrong of us to say that when she moves out and supports herself, she can do whatever she wants, but while she is living at home we'd appreciate her respecting our views?
-- Concerned Parents
Dear Concerned: With your daughter living at home, you and your husband can lay down whatever limitations you want ... as long as you don't mind conveying to her that while she is with you, YOU will be in control of her choices related to her body.
I don't happen to believe that this is a positive message to send to a young woman. It is possible that your emphasis on these limitations is one reason your daughter wants to push them.
The advantage of piercings over tattoos, for example, is that they are relatively easily reversed. The Center for Young Women's Health (youngwomenshealth.org) has a comprehensive list of the possible medical complications related to piercing. I suggest that as you discuss this, you and your daughter should review this information together.
Your daughter is training to be a nurse. As she matures, she will understand the professional limitations presented by piercings, and then she could choose to keep or remove them, based on what her goals are.
Dear Amy: I have a best female friend. I also have a boyfriend. My boyfriend teaches in a town over 2,000 miles away. He visits and stays with me every summer.
He sometimes says things that sound like he thinks I prioritize my relationship with my BFF over him.
I see my friend for breakfast once a week (we both work a lot), and when my boyfriend visits, my friend and I still have our weekly breakfast, but a shorter version.
My best friend is married to a guy who lives with her year-round and I understand that right now my guy only has about four months a year to spend with me, so time is scarce.
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