ArcaMax

Dear Contemplating: First, this: You will never stop missing your mother. This loss will be folded into all of your other relationships, and it will express itself in different ways through time.

This insight is not to consign you to a life of grieving, but to let you know that these feelings will crop up and throw you for a loop, especially when you are living in a foreign country, negotiating the world in another language, and shocked and shadowed by the prospect of terrorist episodes.

Your grandfather is of another generation that uses Facebook to check in about birthdays and to share vacation photos -- but this generation does not use social media to connect during and after an emergency, the way you and your cohort reflexively -- and very smartly -- do.

I think you should write to him. Send him an old-fashioned letter. Describe your experience living in France -- the good, the bad, and the scary. Tell him how much he means to you. Ask him if it would be OK for you to talk about your mom sometimes. You opening up might inspire him to soften a little more and to be more expressive toward you.

It takes time to build a warm and loving tribe of your own. It happens one person at a time. You're already off to a good start.

Dear Amy: I have two siblings. Our mother has passed away, leaving us $200,000 to share equally.

Over the last 10 years of my mother's life, I helped her financially, giving her $50,000 to help her with expenses.

My two siblings gave her nothing. Everyone knew from the start that I provided my mother with this financial support.

My mother and my siblings also knew that I expected to be repaid through our inheritance. Our mother agreed to this.

Here's the rub: How should we divide this? What is my fair share?

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