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One-sided attraction affects a friendship

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

She may be using your own fear of seeming homophobic to test or try to coerce you. At the very least, her behavior is manipulative. At the most, she is sexually harassing you. You should tell her that this is a friendship deal breaker.

Dear Amy: My boyfriend and I have been dating for over two years. We've both been out of college for a year. We've faced a lot of changes and challenges together. Now my boyfriend is moving into a new, beautiful, big apartment.

I told him I wanted to move in with him (we had discussed living together in the past). We also spend five to six nights out of the week together, anyway.

His reaction to my idea was not excitement, but anxiety and indecision. Ultimately, he said he wanted to do it, but I'm a sensitive and stubborn person and wouldn't accept that because his heart wasn't in it.

I said, "It seems like you aren't ready," secretly hoping that he would beg me to join him. He didn't.

I wish I could brush it off and say hey, living together is a huge deal and I can wait until we're both into it. But I feel hurt, unwanted, and betrayed by my confidante.

 

I see young couples moving in together in New York all the time and I'm jealous that my partner doesn't want to have that experience with me. How do I move past this when I am feeling resentful and stubborn?

How can I ever go to his new apartment, when it looms with a "keep out" feeling?

-- Feeling Excluded

Dear Feeling Excluded: I'll grant you this: You are a human MRI, with the ability to perceive anxiety and indecision, look right past it -- and straight into your boyfriend's heart.

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