Life Advice



One-sided attraction affects a friendship

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I've been friends with "Sandra" for about a year now.

Recently, she revealed to me that she is gay. I am totally supportive of her. However, she also told me that she has grown to be very attracted to me.

I'm a straight woman, and I'm not attracted to her. I told her this.

Over the past couple of weeks, she has been acting increasingly inappropriate around me. She seems to go out of her way to touch me in ways she didn't before. She has taken to kissing me (on the cheek), which she never used to do.

She invited me over for dinner, and when I arrived, she walked out almost completely unclothed. She apologized and said she "forgot" I was coming over.

I raised my concerns to her, and she asked if I found her repulsive because she was gay. I told her of course not!


If a man were acting this way, I would accuse him of sexual harassment and tell him not to contact me anymore. I don't want Sandra to think I'm discriminating against her. Her behavior -- not her orientation -- is the issue for me.

How do I frame this? I'd like to remain friends, but without the pressure.

-- Just Friends

Dear Just Friends: "Sandra" boldly expressed her sexual interest in you, and you responded by frankly revealing your own choice not to reciprocate. She then upped the ante.


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