Fertility struggles lead to pregnant pauses
Being threatened with abandonment will keep a person perpetually off-kilter. It's hard to relax into your truest self if you are always insecure about your relationship.
Eliminating this constant threat would free up lots of mental and emotional band-width. Fifty is the ideal age to be out on your own: You're old enough to know both who you are and what you want, and you're young enough to enjoy a second (or third, or fourth) act in the grand drama that is your life.
Dear Amy: "Confused" wrote to you about her friend who had carried on an emotional affair with a married man, until his wife found out and he ended it.
Thank you for advising her NOT to be a go-between for these two people! I made that mistake (once), and of course it all exploded. I lost the friend that I was trying to help.
-- Been There
Dear Been There: Deep involvement in someone else's romantic drama seldom turns out well -- for anyone.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter at @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)