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Grown-ups worry about unequal playdates

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

The obvious explanation here is that the two couples you cite both have toddlers. One toddler can be a tough go. But get two toddlers together, and magic happens -- certainly if they get along well.

If your 6-year-old came home from school and told you that he was upset because, "Joseph invited me to his birthday party but he never invites me over for playdates," you would patiently explain that friendships come in many forms. It's OK for people to be closer to some people than others.

Friendship isn't fair and equal, and that's why it's so special.

So yes, these other two couples are parents of toddlers. That's why they spend so much time together. You should also assume that they genuinely like each other and enjoy one another's company.

You need to work on broadening your perspective. If you would seriously consider "excluding people from your lives" with whom you have a cordial relationship, then you are ill-equipped to handle the long haul of parenting.

Dear Amy: I have had a friend for over 35 years.

 

We raised kids together, both went through divorces, and were generally close. But things have changed.

I realize that when we talk, she controls the conversations. She goes on and on and then when I share, she often finds an excuse to ring off. If I want to talk, I have to interrupt, which isn't my style. When she visits my home, she talks about what my house needs to have done to it.

Last year a grandchild came early and spent two months in NICU. During this time, she sent me pictures of healthy, happy babies until I asked her to please stop as our baby was fighting for his life. She texted a "sorry."

My family has several biracial children in it, yet she has started to say things that are casually racist.

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