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Health

Friday night dinners are marred by bad habits

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Say to her, "We love having you with us. You are a wonderful and thoughtful family member. I'm wondering if you can work on your eating habits while you're at the table -- especially chewing with your mouth open and talking while you're chewing. I know it is probably hard to change the way you eat, but it's driving me bananas and I'm asking if you could at least try."

If your sister is offended and chooses to stay away from your meals for a while, there is not much you can do about it. Stay in touch and let her know that you miss her and that she is always welcome.

After offering a gentle and private correction to her, you should work on ways you might learn to tolerate her poor table habits. Something as simple as changing the seating might help.

Dear Amy: Another Mother's Day has passed, and again my husband did nothing for me. No gift. No flowers. No dinner out. Not even a card.

It's pretty much the same for Valentine's Day and our anniversary.

I usually receive something small for Christmas and my birthday, but it's typically a thoughtless or odd gift that doesn't suit me.

He rarely gives me a compliment or expresses appreciation for things I do for him and the kids. I've let him know year after year that his thoughtlessness hurts my feelings, but he never changes.

Now I'm starting to worry that I'm setting a bad example for our three daughters and that they'll end up marrying someone who's just like him and have their feelings hurt over and over again.

I've actually considered divorce because I don't want to spend the rest of my life with someone who is so thoughtless. Maybe there is someone else out there who will make me feel special a few times a year. Am I being selfish? Am I too hung up on getting a gift?

 

-- Hurt Feelings Again

Dear Hurt Feelings: I don't think gifts on special days would probably matter so much if you felt valued and appreciated the rest of the time, but I do think it is important -- and useful -- for you to purposefully look for positive ways your husband might be communicating his appreciation for and feelings about you, outside of gift-giving. Also look at how you express your appreciation toward him.

Before giving up on him -- and your relationship -- you two should commit to a few sessions with a skilled and neutral marriage coach or counselor, who could at least help you to communicate.

Dear Amy: One additional piece of advice for "Wife Needing Advice," the woman whose husband likes porn taken from hidden cameras: She should make sure he hasn't been filming her. She needs to leave!

-- No Name

Dear No Name: This sort of hidden camera "voyeur" pornography is disgusting. You make a great point. I agree.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)


 

 

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