Couple saw something, but won't say something
If I am not honest I might be served this dish again and again.
Does it matter if the person asking is an extended family member or friend?
-- Am I Rude?
Dear Am I: This calls for a combination of honesty and deflection.
When family members or friends ask if you like something that you really don't like, you could respond, "You're a great cook, but this isn't my favorite dish of yours. My favorite of all of your dishes is the corn pudding. I could eat that every day. Oh, and your rhubarb pie...!"
Don't forget that you should be the grateful recipient of anything you are offered, even if you don't like it.
Dear Amy: Thank you for your compassionate and helpful response to "Not Dead Yet," who has ALS.
This person reported that several people had greeted news of her fatal disease with this phrase: "Well, we're all dying of something."
In addition to pointing out the basic thoughtlessness, you supplied the response she asked for: "Well, how about we trade. I'll take the thing you're dying of and you can have the thing I'm dying of."
I honestly thought that was genius.
Grateful
Dear Grateful: "We're all dying of something" is a truism, but it is an inappropriate placeholder for empathy, or sympathy.
I was heartsick that this person had received so little sincere human compassion.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
