Life Advice

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Health

Adult kids' fights always involve the folks

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

I feel loved but not supported by my family, and I worry about them all the time. I work hard and am respected, but I'm not fulfilled in my career. I've been in counseling more than once over the years, alone and with my partner. It goes nowhere.

I know I'm depressed. Medication helps, but doesn't solve life's problems. I am cheerful and smile, and hardly anyone really knows my internal feelings. I have wonderful friends, I volunteer, exercise and enjoy a few activities, but I am not happy.

I am stuck and tired of trying so hard with no real satisfaction. Where do I go from here?

-- Stuck and Tired

Dear Stuck: Medication can make your depression symptoms manageable, but no medication can solve life's problems.

Sometimes, you can't solve life's problems, either. The trick is to learn how to cope with events, problems, and feelings as they arise. I think of this as "sitting in my discomfort," and understanding that overall -- life is hard, but challenges can (sometimes) eventually bring special meaning and insight. And sometimes, life just seems to suck, and only reading poetry, wandering through a garden center or watching a few episodes of my favorite sitcom will lift me up. This is basic self-medication.

I don't think you should always smile your way through your days. Opening up to others could help you to feel more connected. You have the makings of a philosopher because you are staring into the existential void -- and you are feeling it. Ultimately, this could be your greatest gift.

Dear Amy: "Disgusted" was complaining about a grandma telling her college-age granddaughter not to get raped or pregnant.

 

This sounds like obvious and great advice, to me.

Hopefully the girl will remember her gram's advice and take heed!

-- Dennis

Dear Dennis: I am publishing this response as an example of many similar responses I've received, all of which convey the attitude that "telling a girl not to get raped" is an acceptable way to convey concern.

We have a lot of work to do.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)


 

 

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