Cousin wants to cut ties with relative on death bed
You seem supremely conflicted. On the one hand, you are both judged and judgmental. On the other, you say you want to help. And yet you present practical reasons why helping (in person) would be impossible.
I think you might feel better about all of this if you both kept your distance and also offered some emotional and familial support.
Many of us are loosely encased in families comprised of some people we would not choose as friends. This presents both a huge challenge, but also the potential for being the decent, kind, expansive and emotionally generous person you might take pride in being.
I suggest writing a warmly worded letter to your dying family member. Enclose an old photo (if you have one), and share a happier/less-odious memory of time spent with that person (if you have one). If you can't manage a shred of compassion toward a dying person, then you might not be the upstanding and ethical person you claim to be.
Dear Amy: Yesterday I was standing in line at a local ice cream place and a fake service dog attacked me.
It was a tiny dog. It didn't bite through my pants, and the dog's owner (an employee) came out and moved its rope to a different place.
This is in Marin County, California. Everyone here thinks their dogs are service dogs.
This one was wearing a vest, but it was tied to a tree, not helping a disabled person. People like this cause problems for people who really need service dogs.
I have also encountered so-called service dogs off-leash. How is this helpful? Why are people so self-centered around here?
-- Once Bitten
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