Sister has skipped out on executor duties
Dear Amy: I'm a 29-year-old man, running the family farm with my older brother and my parents. I also have three other siblings nearby. We are close and very involved in the family business.
My older brother, "Randall," has a new girlfriend. She is 35, never married, no children, and is very nice.
The problem is that she has zero responsibility, is dependent, can't hold a job, has a poor work ethic, is disorganized, unemployable and unintelligent.
She also suffers from depression and has other behavior issues. She looks at life like she's 14 and just got her first boyfriend.
Soon she will be living with him. The rest of the family doesn't like this because we don't like her. We fear she will just be living off of him, which means she will be living off us.
Randall is a good man, but is soft. He could do much better. I hate to see him stuck with someone who will just be dependent on him.
Should I have a talk with him? Should I try telling her to get it together? If so, what should I say? Or just say nothing at all?
-- Farmed Out
Dear Farmed Out: You could ask your brother some leading questions ("Will Shelley help to support the two of you?"), but otherwise, no -- don't critique his choice unless he asks you for your opinion.
The most useful thing you can do is to safeguard your farm like the important family business it is, protecting the farm's assets from any one family member's poaching.
Dear Amy: "Lost" was wrestling with the knowledge that her father had fathered a child with a 14-year-old neighbor.
You referred to this as a "terrible legacy." No life is ever "terrible."
-- Sensitive
Dear Sensitive: Rape is pretty terrible, and the woman who was raped deserves to have this acknowledged.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
