ArcaMax

In short, you and your lover are inhabiting a tired cliché. The least -- the very, very least -- you can do is to own it.

Your children will not care one whit about your one-in-a-billion love affair. Leaving them -- and their other parent -- is NOT the way to "show them what love is."

That having been said, because you are both determined to leave your marriages, I do not believe it is wisest to wait several years. The less time your well-adjusted children spend in a household fraught with unhappiness and tinged with lies and infidelity -- the better. Please, spare them your romantic notions and overall arrogance.

You should pursue couples counseling in order to find a way to amicably "uncouple." Many couples wait so long to pursue marriage counseling that it essentially becomes divorce mediation. And this can help both of you to express your frustration and heartache. Just don't pretend that your decision will be welcomed by anyone else. Assume it will be hard for everyone, and take responsibility for being the catalyst for the challenge these two families are about to face.

Dear Amy: My husband and I hosted four friends for dinner last night.

One of the couples (our closest friends) insisted on using their cellphones throughout dinner.

They communicated with a workman, checked facts, and looked up information they wanted to share with the group.

My husband and I found their behavior rude. It interrupted and distracted them from the conversation.

I did suggest once that they delay their phone interactions until dinner was finished. This fell on deaf ears.

Is there a kind way to request that guests don't use cellphones while socializing and eating dinner?

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