ArcaMax

Dear Amy: I have found the man of my dreams. He is my true love.

I know you are thinking that lots of people fall in love, but Amy, our love is one in a billion -- the kind of love little girls dream of and that Hallmark card writers write about.

We are deeply connected and compatible in every imaginable way. We have been together long enough to know that our love is real and lasting.

Here's the challenge: We are both in long-term marriages that have been dead for a very long time.

For years we have both put off leaving our marriages to limit the impact on our kids, who are now well-adjusted teenagers. Before we met, we had each planned to separate/divorce when our kids were in college. But now things have changed forever.

We are so happy together and it's very painful when we're apart. We can't imagine waiting years (until our kids go to college) to live our life together.

We always want to do what's best for them and are struggling with how best to balance our kids' well-being and our own.

Should we follow our hearts, leave our marriages, show our kids what real love is, and do our best to help them deal with the situation? Or should we patiently and secretly love each other and wait until they are off to college, despite the emptiness we feel when apart?

-- In Love and Confused

Dear Confused: Please, little girls deserve better dreams than this. Somehow, even the misty-eyed writers of Hallmark cards seem to have missed the beautiful and romantic literary potential of two married adults having extramarital affairs and jonesing to ditch their spouses and kids in order to be together.

...continued