ArcaMax

Amy, I think my family has given them enough of our business.

Do I go with my mother's last wishes? If I do, it will upset my friend and I am sure some people will wonder why I wouldn't choose her funeral establishment.

My mother is very stubborn and there is no talking to her about anything.

Believe me, I get the bulk of her nastiness since her health is giving her issues. My brothers could not care less. They leave me to do everything, and my mom backs them up entirely.

-- Daughter Dearest

Dear Daughter: You should carry out your mother's wishes. Your reasons not to do so are very slim, and seem to be entirely based in a friendship you have with the proprietor of a funeral home that is a rival to the one your family has patronized for two generations.

Because your mother is being open with you about her funeral, you should encourage her to plan it, and then you should do your very best to adhere to her plans.

Dear Amy: I disagree with your advice to "Pete the Pack Rat.

I found it very effective to move everything to a storage unit without judging whether things were keepers, giveaways or throwaways. Then I was able to take out a box or two at a time and go through it, breaking the task into achievable pieces. When you are looking at a house full of junk it's too overwhelming. It took several months but the job got done.

-- Decluttered

Dear Decluttered: Congratulations to you on tackling this monumental challenge.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)