Granddaughter's vulnerability elicits rude response
Dear Amy: My daughter and her friend, both freshmen in college, visited her grandparents in Florida over spring break.
While my daughter was there, she was sharing vulnerably with her grandmother about how the birth control she was on was messing up her menstrual cycle and not helping her skin as intended. She told her grandmother she was going to stop taking it.
In response to this, my mother-in-law grabbed my daughter's wrist and held onto it tightly, so she could not move away from the admonishment she had in store. My MIL leaned in and said strongly, "Be careful not to get raped and pregnant." Then she laughed.
My daughter didn't know what to do with that, other than justify herself and her choices: Where she went to school, who she hangs around with, what she does and why. All of which are so mild. She spent the remaining two days dodging her grandmother.
I haven't addressed these issues with my MIL. I've been very angry. My daughter wants space and is so hurt. She can't believe that someone would do these things to their granddaughter.
I'm leaving a response up to my husband.
We've had these sorts of issues before where my MIL says hurtful things. When we tell her, she goes into full-on victim mode. She blames others and barely takes responsibility.
Thoughts on how to tackle this?
-- Disgusted
Dear Disgusted: Your daughter made a rookie mistake in talking to her thoughtless and hurtful grandmother about something as personal as her birth control method.
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