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Husband's 'voyeur' addiction leads to a split

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Am I being unreasonable with my feelings of jealousy over my sister's "not yet old" status?

-- In the Age Squeeze

Dear In the Age: I must point out the obvious: You are not a "young-for-your-age" 61-year-old. You are an old-for-your-age middle-aged person.

Unless my math is off, you had your daughter when you were 21 years old. Younger mothers sometimes grow up alongside their children and thus become more peer-like with their kids than older mothers.

You seem to have gone in the opposite direction. If you are deliberately limiting yourself from attending and/or enjoying landmark events in your daughter's life because you think it's "inappropriate," then that's on you. You should attend whatever events to which you are invited. You should stay as long as you want to stay -- without imposing on the host or getting in the way of the partying.

I can well imagine you not being interested in hanging out with your daughter's friends after the drinking and dancing start. But if your sister wants to, then that's her right. If she is making a fool of herself, then that's on her.

Your sister was 11 years old when her niece was born. The numbers alone make them more peer-like. Your attitude regarding your own role seems to make things worse for you. I hope you will change your perspective. "Acting your age" is behaving in a mature fashion, not necessarily counting yourself out altogether.

Dear Amy: To deal with the annoyance posed by cellphone use during meals, my friends and I have a trick: Whenever we go out to a restaurant, we all put our cellphones away.

 

The first person to answer the phone/check their emails, photograph their food, etc., etc., pays for lunch/dinner.

Works like a charm

-- Cell Free

Dear Cell Free: Genius.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)


 

 

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