ArcaMax

Dear Amy: My former boss is stalking me. I left my job, and now he is frequenting my house and new workplace by driving by. I, unfortunately, had an affair with this man over 10 years ago. I realize I overstepped boundaries by having the affair with him. I also stayed in the job after the affair had ended because I couldn't find work elsewhere.

Now I feel like I somehow deserve the stalking and that there is nothing I can do about it.

I have read that the best action is no action, but I am becoming severely depressed, terribly anxious and suicidal.

My job is part of a "community," and I wouldn't be able to continue to work in my town if I confronted him and he decided to retaliate by dragging my name through the mud.

Help.

-- Anonymous

Dear Anonymous: You should seek professional help immediately. If you are feeling suicidal, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at suicidepreventionlifeline.org (800) 273-8255 to communicate with a counselor by phone or online. You can send a text to Crisis Text Line: 741741 and seek immediate help. Longer term, you should get a referral for a counselor and commit to ongoing therapy.

You do not "deserve" to be stalked and frightened. No one does!

I do not believe that "the best action is no action." The best action is to take back some control over your life by valuing your own safety and security, and by understanding that you have the right to live your own life, freely and safely. Some of your anxiety and depression might be eased if you can feel empowered.

Increase your security at home by installing outdoor lighting and a camera system.

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