ArcaMax

Your request is out there. Your cousin's wife might not be available to take care of your needs right now. She might not regularly review her requests. Or -- she might not be interested in your artwork.

She is one person. Your efforts should be directed toward increasing your marketing reach beyond your relatives and their spouses -- and into the great beyond. Some of your biggest fans will be people who stumble upon your work because you generously appreciate their work, or the work of other artists they admire. The social media engine is fueled by generosity, mutuality, and connection.

You should be generous in your interactions with others, and generous in your assumptions about people -- online and in real life. Let this one go.

Dear Amy: About five years ago, I successfully completed a Ph.D. under the guidance of an amazing woman, "Daisy." Daisy also supervised my master's dissertation. I never would have pursued a doctorate without her encouragement. She had a truly transformational impact on my life and I owe her a huge debt.

We formed a close bond and she introduced me to her husband and daughter on several occasions. Since I graduated, we only see each other on a roughly annual basis.

Normally when I have a free day or am passing by her campus I'll ask her for a coffee or lunch. I think about her often.

Here is my quandary: I have recently found out that six months ago her daughter was seriously injured in a freak accident, and is now paralyzed from the waist down. The story made the national press, but I only found out it was Daisy's daughter through an unconnected, professional contact.

I desperately want to reach out to both Daisy and her daughter, but am unsure of how to do so.

Do I mention the accident, or do I simply reach out to ask her for a coffee and see if she brings it up? I don't want to be insensitive, but also want to be there for my friend in this time of need.

-- Lost in London

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