Husband and dad ponders leaving his marriage
Dear Amy: My marriage is not a particularly happy one. My wife and I were both older when we met and running out of time to have children, so we probably settled.
My wife presented herself to me for years as someone with a strong moral character. She demonstrated that she had class, but when we married, she turned into a whining, nagging, disrespectful (in public, to me), and selfish person almost overnight.
Recently, she threw a tantrum hours after a close family member of mine had tragically passed away. (It ruined her plans for the day!)
I realized she will never change back to the old her. This is it.
My oldest child senses something is amiss and has become super clingy toward me. We spend wonderful precious time together every evening. I feel as though taking this away from her is selfish on my part and that I should just suck it up. My girl just needs her father. Every day.
Counseling has been a waste of time. She is constantly on the verge of a meltdown based on everyday little things, and has no resilience. This is a learned behavior and not a physical condition (i.e. postpartum depression). She won't go to therapy or a doctor, anyway.
I am sorta done. I don't want to be with her anymore.
What is the conventional wisdom on staying together for the kids?
-- Stuck.
Dear Stuck: The conventional wisdom is that you should try mightily to repair your marriage -- for the sake of the entire family (and that includes you) before you declare yourself "done."
...continued
