Life Advice

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A friendship falters as forgiveness fades

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Maybe this will get you started: "Congratulations on your new grandchild. This is great news, and I know this will mark a new and joyful chapter for you. I'm sorry I haven't been in touch recently, but unfortunately I have sad news of my own to share..."

I'm very sorry you are going through this. Keep in mind that sharing this news gives people the opportunity to express their sympathy, memories and love for you and your late wife. Receiving this outpouring might be hard for you in the moment, but I do believe you will feel better in the long run.

Dear Amy: I loved your response to "Clean," the woman whose mother-in-law would come to her house and clean like a maniac. You suspected that her mother-in-law might have OCD.

I have lived with OCD (with a co-diagnosis of social anxiety), and it's best to just let us soothe ourselves for a few moments and we'll be back to normal again.

This MIL needs to find ways to prepare herself and plan before social gatherings so that she can enjoy time with family and friends.

No matter what we go through, we have to be mindful to maintain those strong relationships with the people who love us.

 

-- Happy OCD Mom

Dear Happy: I presented OCD as an idea, not a definitive diagnosis (I can't diagnose anyone) -- mainly because this person's cleaning seemed to be somewhat ritualized and obsessive. I was also hoping that the daughter-in-law could see this as a soothing ritual, versus a verdict on the cleanliness of her own house.

Thank you for sharing your insight.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: ASKAMY@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)


 

 

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