Casual dater wonders if she was the 'other woman'
Dear Amy: I have been casually dating a friend off and on for over two years. He is 16 years older than I am. I never considered the relationship serious. Every time we went out, he initiated it.
We never explicitly discussed relationship statuses, but he always gave the impression that he was a forever-bachelor.
Well, it turns out he has been long-distance dating a woman for the last five years, and five weeks after our most recent date he married her!
He hasn't told me any of this. I ran into the "best man" from his wedding, who basically said, "Yeah, he finally got married to his long-term girlfriend!"
I had no idea he was seeing anyone! I would never date a person who was committed to someone else.
To add a wrinkle, he and I are both board members of a nonprofit. Next month he is hosting an event that I have to help at, and his new wife will be there.
When given the opportunity, should I tell her that her husband cheated with me?
I feel like once I meet her, if I don't tell her, I am now complicit in keeping his secret. But, I don't want to ruin a marriage.
Help!
-- Not His Number Two
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