Abused wife needs a safety plan
Dear Amy: My husband is a good person. We have a "great" relationship and we love each other, but we both have had a past that we are not proud of (cheating on exes about 10 years ago).
The problem is that it seems that I moved on from the past and am focused on the present -- on being a good wife and mother to my kids (their dad passed away last year).
Age difference is another factor that causes my husband to doubt me. I am 28 and he is 43.
I love this guy with all my heart and want this relationship to work, but I can't stand him being offensive toward me anymore. It gets to a point where he has pushed me to the floor or slapped me because he remembered that I was with other guys before him.
I have never offended him in any way. I'm faithful and loving to him, but it seems he can't get past the idea that I had a past.
I have stayed because they say the first year of marriage is always the hardest one, but a year has passed, and nothing changes.
Should I leave, or keep fighting for my marriage?
-- Hurting
Dear Hurting: You should leave, and you should leave as quickly as you can. Your children are young; your husband is violent. You need to protect yourself and your children. It's that simple.
Understand that nothing you do will change your husband's violent behavior. No amount of placating, explaining or apologizing on your part will change how he reacts to you.
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