Life Advice

/

Health

Former flame worries about loan repayment

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: Several years ago, I loaned $4,000 to a woman. She and I were in a romantic relationship, which had just ended. Our relationship was a positive one, but I blame myself for not becoming more involved in the lives of her children.

The money was used to fund a lawsuit against her former husband. The suit was ultimately unsuccessful.

Over the years, I have occasionally reached out with a nice note. I haven't heard back in a few years -- maybe because she has remarried.

I was reminded of the loan when I rediscovered a notarized letter we both signed. The letter stipulated no terms for repayment, except when she is in a position to do so. I basically forgot about the money once the lawsuit failed. I've never brought it up.

Is it wrong to bring it up now? She is now on solid financial ground and I could certainly use the money. I wouldn't want her to think I was pressuring her or implying that I had been brooding all this time. Actually, I hoped for a better post-relationship relationship with her, in part to feel better about myself.

I also had another idea: My aging mother and I take care of my bedridden father. The woman who owes me is a social worker. Should I make an offhand comment that she could pay off the debt by providing some social work advice/help when needed?

 

Should I bring up the debt and feel like a worm in order to possibly be repaid?

-- Wondering

Dear Wondering: I have an idea -- you should ask that this debt be repaid, and NOT feel like a worm, but like a worthy and deserving human being.

You and your former partner behaved responsibly to the extent that after she talked you out of $4,000, you had the agreement notarized.

...continued

swipe to next page

 

 

Comics

Jimmy Margulies Sarah's Scribbles Kevin Siers Noodle Scratchers John Darkow Monte Wolverton