Life Advice

/

Health

Kids want to nudge their dad toward divorce

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My sister and I have recently found out that our father has been seeing a woman who is not our mother.

Our parents' marriage over the last 15 years has not been much of a relationship. They are more like roommates, just living in the same house. They each go about their own business and come together only at family functions that we kids arrange. They don't seem to fight, but we observe a total disinterest in each other. Years ago, I remember my mother saying that "we are not a family who divorces."

We would like to tell our father that we know about his lady friend. We would like to encourage him to pursue a life with someone who has made an obvious improvement in his life.

He has seemed happier over the last year and we support any change he might make. We love our mother, of course, but she does nothing to be a couple with our father anymore. Sadly, couples' therapy did not help because our mother did not want to change anything. She prefers the company of her friends to him.

We also think our father would not make any move to separate or divorce without our input, as we are sure he would think that we would think less of him, which is not true.

How can we convey our feelings to him? Or, should we even try?

 

Is it our place or responsibility to encourage at least one of our parents to be happier?

-- Sympathetic Son and Daughter

Dear Sympathetic: Thank you for offering a somewhat refreshing take on a very old story. I appreciate that you, as adult children, can actually see that your parents are individuals who have wants, needs, desires and paths to happiness that extend beyond their singular roles as parents. All the same, aren't you a shred disappointed that your father has chosen this particular path out of marriage?

You hold a distinctly negative view of your mother's role in this drama. I don't know how you can know what happened during their couples counseling, but I take your word for it that she has not demonstrated an interest in maintaining a thriving marriage.

...continued

swipe to next page

 

 

Comics

Cathy Al Goodwyn 1 and Done The Barn Arctic Circle BC