ArcaMax

Dear Amy: Responding to questions regarding whether women should confront long-ago unwanted sexual experiences, when I was a teenager (I'm female), I experienced my share of illicit kisses, inappropriate gestures from men and sexual innuendos. Today's climate of reportage makes women think they should consider bringing these old activities once again to light. To what purpose?

My own thoughts are that words, caresses and even kisses, (if not of a violent nature) are not that big a deal.

Human beings are animals (biologically), and sex is a powerful drive.

Teenagers ooze hormones. Our animal natures drive us to kissing, touching and talking about "forbidden" stuff.

Only if something seriously coercive occurred in the past that involved restraint, physical injury or threat of terror -- would I waste time trying to rectify it now.

As the old saying goes, "You live and you learn."

-- Older and Wiser

Dear Older: If your youthful sexual experiences, whether illicit or inappropriate, didn't bother you then and don't bother you now, then lucky you! Go forth and prosper! However, you may be conflating "hormonal" teen activity, which would be consensual, with other "illicit" activity ("forbidden" or illegal).

You shouldn't feel pressured to confront or report something that happened many years ago, unless, of course, you suspect the person who was sexual with you would have gone on to actually victimize someone else -- someone who lacked your resiliency, or who didn't consent. Then you would be morally obligated to confront and report it.

Women are coming forward now because they/we are -- basically -- mad as hell and not going to take it anymore. Back in the day, many parents, teachers, clergy, etc., reflected the overall prevailing culture and were so successful at silencing girls, that girls pretty much silenced themselves. I believe that many women today are inspired by their own experiences as parents to try to ensure that their children experience their own sexuality free of force or coercion. This includes the freedom to experiment and to make mistakes, and the responsibility to face the natural consequences stemming from their own actions.

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