New marriage faces extreme grandparenting challenge
Dear Amy: I married a wonderful woman about two years ago. Six months later her widower son moved into our house, with his five children. The children ranged in age from a newborn baby to eight years old.
This "man" couldn't raise one child, much less five.
The children have had no formal (or any) education, nor medical or dental care. The mother died in childbirth (due to her own lack of medical care) with the baby, who is now 13 months old.
I am a semi-retired psychologist; I love my wife and grandchildren, and I try my best.
I will do anything to save my marriage. However, whenever I try to discuss this situation with my wife, I'm cast as a heartless, uncaring wretch.
She is reluctant (but perhaps willing) to go to therapy with me, but I'm actually afraid to address this, as it is perhaps a deal-breaker.
Of course, we never discussed such a possibility of raising all of these children prior to our marriage.
Advice? Suggestions?
-- Upset in the West
Dear Upset: This situation presents one of the most extreme challenges any family could face. As a psychologist, you understand that clear, steady and loving communication is key to your family's success. However, some of the language you are using to describe how your wife views you ("heartless, uncaring wretch") is loaded. You should work on that.
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