Worried parent wonders about in-law alcohol intake
Dear Amy: I've been married for 20 years. My in-laws all live locally and are all very high-functioning daily alcohol consumers.
We are all involved in a prominent successful family business that involves several liquor licenses.
Alcohol was not part of my childhood culture, and I very rarely drink.
We all meet every Sunday at Grandma's for a lovely meal where alcohol is omnipresent, although no one gets "out of hand."
I am panicked, and feeling very isolated, as I watch all our children come of age with the associated teenage experimentation and boundary pushing. How can I go about asking my husband and extended family to model family life and social activity without alcohol consumption when our teens are present?
How do I respond when they likely refuse, or worse, agree but then don't follow through?
-- Tea Total
Dear Tea Total: Is it possible that your in-laws are actually demonstrating how to consume alcohol responsibly? Adults coming together and drinking wine with a meal, for instance, is how many cultures around the world celebrate togetherness.
You should talk to your husband about this, and -- without asking his family to behave differently -- discuss how you two will approach this topic with your teens.
You should be honest with them: "There is a lot of alcohol consumed in our businesses and in our family. We want to talk to you about how to use alcohol responsibly."
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