ArcaMax

Dear Amy: We have an ongoing problem occurring in our family. I have one daughter-in-law who is chronically late for everything. If we are supposed to be somewhere at two, that is when she starts getting ready.

Her mother is also always late, so I know it is a learned problem.

My son has discussed this with her, but nothing has changed. Without being an interfering mother-in-law, I would like to address this with love. Do you have any helpful suggestions for me?

-- Prompt In-Law

Dear Prompt: In my (very prompt) family, we dealt with one chronically late member by simply starting things on time, and tolerating the late family member, who basically seemed to run on a different time zone. When this family member hosted events, we turned up when she asked us to.

I believe that tolerating this while not letting it interfere too much with your own plans (and happiness) is the way to respond to this -- with love. So is simply telling the truth: "Dear, you always seem to be running late. This can be hard on the rest of us. Will you try harder to be prompt for family events?"

Always take separate transportation, and accept that in this regard, she is unreliable.

I find chronic lateness disrespectful, but I also realize that it doesn't seem to be personally directed.

I'm sure readers will weigh in with ideas for how to re-train someone who is always late.

Dear Amy: What do you think about a "meal train" that asks for meal delivery to someone who recently underwent a surgery (or had a baby)?

...continued