ArcaMax

Dear Amy: My 10-year-old son was in the locker room after ice hockey practice this week and he saw a 13-year-old vaping in the locker room. This other boy was smoking a vaping device with strawberry-flavored nicotine.

I'm very proud of my son for telling me, and for giving me and my husband the opportunity to let him know that just like smoking, or drugs, vaping is not healthy and may become addictive.

My husband says to mind our own business, and that it's not our place to say anything, but I feel awful knowing this child is doing something dangerous that could make him ill in the future.

Do I just sit back and do nothing, as my husband suggests?

-- A Concerned Mom

Dear Concerned: Your young son saw something that concerned him. He very wisely shared this with his parents.

You and your husband expressed appropriate concern about what your 10-year-old had witnessed.

And then your husband basically turned a good parenting encounter into a terrible lesson: "When you witness a rule infraction or other behavior that makes you uncomfortable, the thing to do is to keep quiet about it. It's really none of your business."

Not to put too fine a point on it, but your 10-year-old could witness other behavior in the locker room (or elsewhere) that concerns, confuses or frightens him. Please leave the door open for him to talk, and for you to act on his behalf.

He should be encouraged to report anything to you, and you should thank him for that, answer his questions and then tell him, "We've got this."

...continued