Life Advice

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Health

Widower wants ex-wife to be his caregiver

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I am an 85-year-old widower. My wife died three months ago.

I live with a "live-in" assistant who provides meals and general assistance to me. This person also has a job in real estate.

I have two grown children from a previous marriage, and three adult stepchildren from my deceased wife.

Now, I want to ask my ex-wife to move in with me to provide 24/7 care.

She is 82, and is in favor of moving in with me. We've been divorced for 36 years.

The children are split: my two agree with this idea, and the three stepchildren disagree.

 

The disagreement comes from concern over too short a period for bereavement, and also distribution of an inheritance after my passing.

They also think that my ex-wife is too old to provide effective caregiving.

Is there a "normal" grieving period? I am torn between my original family and my family through marriage.

Is a compromise possible?

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