Life Advice

/

Health

Long marriage now seems thoroughly broken

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I've been married for more than 30 years, through good times and bad.

Right now times seem bad.

My husband has been retired for eight years from his job as a local trucker. He mostly worked nights.

When he was working, he blamed his bursts of anger on a lack of sleep. Well, many years post-retirement, he still has outbursts of swearing and yelling.

Back in the day, I would engage in the confrontations. Then when I was about 40, I made a decision that I just didn't want to fight anymore. Instead, I disengage. Adults should be able to have conversations without shouting and cursing.

I told my husband that I don't feel loved, and I don't even feel liked. Therefore, I'm not interested in having sex with him, because he doesn't seem to love -- or even like -- me. He has not confirmed or denied -- or disclosed -- his feelings about me.

 

There have been occasions, when I've been drinking, when we have had sex, which I do not remember in the morning. What would you call that?

-- Wondering

Dear Wondering: I would call that either blackout drinking (or a date rape drug), accompanied by sexual assault; or (possibly) a psychological phenomenon called dissociation.

Dissociation is how some people cope with trauma -- by basically detaching themselves from reality.

...continued

swipe to next page

 

 

Comics

John Branch Get Fuzzy Baby Blues Rubes Al Goodwyn 9 Chickweed Lane