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Couples' separation leads to rift in the family

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My brother and his wife are divorcing.

My brother has been abusive and an alcoholic throughout the marriage.

I have always sided with my sister-in-law. I have cared for my niece and nephew over the years, as well.

Now my brother is committed to rehab and doing very well. I am now a support system to my brother because he is putting in the daily work to recover and to stay sober.

However, now my sister-in-law will not speak to me, and my niece and nephew will not answer my texts. On the rare occasions that they do, their answers sound coached and the manner in which they respond seems different than in the past.

I'm being prevented from seeing them, and I get the feeling that my sister-in-law is alienating them from us. My mom is also being blocked in the same manner.

 

Since custody has not been decided, she has all the control concerning when (and if) my brother gets to see the children.

What can I do? I love these children and I think she has turned them against our side of the family.

-- A Sad Aunt

Dear Aunt: You describe your brother as an abusive alcoholic. You need to understand that, even in sobriety, he may pose something of a threat to his estranged wife and children. Or they perceive it that way.

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