ArcaMax

Dear Amy: First of all, I am a 15-year-old guy. Unfortunately, I lost my mother to cancer only six months ago.

I tend to overthink things often, and that's why I'm writing to you.

I am not sure whether I have a crush on this person at my school, or if I am just longing for someone to fill the empty space.

But I think about her often, and look forward to seeing her during the day. What do you think?

-- Unsure

Dear Unsure: I'm so sorry for your loss. You are too young to have to navigate through loss and grief, and yet -- here it is. Life's journey is full of sometimes very tough challenges, and this is the toughest.

I hope you have people in your world to talk to, but I'm honored that you brought your question to me. Expressing your feelings is a really good thing, even when you aren't sure what your feelings are, or why you are having them.

I think that at your age and stage, and given what you are going through, it is natural to "overthink," and pretty much live in your head, churning through scenarios on a loop. But overthinking can sometimes lead to a sort of paralysis, because you are thinking so much, you forget to actually act on your thoughts.

What you describe sounds like a real crush. Really, the purpose or function of this crush doesn't matter. Are you experiencing it because you need to fill a void after your mother's death? Possibly, but, so what? This is a gift to you, because a few times a day, when you think about this girl or see her in the school hallway, your crush is pulling you toward life, and the healing powers of joy.

Enjoy these feelings to the fullest. I sincerely hope that this crush is mutual, but even if it isn't, the crush itself is like a bud in the springtime, reminding you that -- through good and bad times -- life goes on, and there are moments of joy right around the corner.

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