Friend wants her bestie to give up the ghost
Dear Amy: My best friend "Maria," who I've known since high school, has ghosted me three times within the last four years. Maria is like a sister to me. She is the godmother to my kids, as I am to hers.
When we reconnect after her silence (which lasts months), it is because I initiate it. She apologizes and tells me that she loves me and misses me. She has explained that she was just going through things with her boyfriend and didn't want to discuss it and therefore doesn't return calls/messages.
Maria and I have always confided in each other, but I've told her that if there is something that she doesn't want to discuss, that we don't have to. But she keeps on dumping me, Amy. She acts like nothing has changed in our relationship. I cannot continue the friendship like that.
To be honest, I think there is something more than her having issues with her boyfriend, but she doesn't want to tell me.
About nine months ago, I called and left two messages, letting her know that I would like us to meet so that we can discuss our friendship. She never called back.
She has broken my heart. I've been sad, angry, mad -- and I feel abandoned.
I will not be contacting her again and at this point I don't know if I want her contacting me either (she may never, anyway). I miss her and my goddaughter, and I think about her all the time.
How can I get past this?
-- Many Times Ghosted
Dear Ghosted: "Maria" may be involved in an abusive relationship that is isolating her from her other friendships. Sometimes, an abusive partner will deliberately isolate someone from family and friends; other times the abused person self-isolates out of embarrassment. This is only a theory, mind you, but according to you, Maria has hinted that there is something deep going on.
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